4:37PM

Although I had so much to journal about, unfortunately I got distracted (duh) and never completed the entry, which I think is okay! Sometimes it’s going to be like that, and that’s cool.

From then on, I did indeed cry for a little bit of release, and it was fine. I am currently at a pool, taking things in, breathing, etc., and it’s lovely. How can I complain?

How am I, you may ask? Hmm, ermm… I want to say the energy and mindset are still doing their baller things.

11:39PM

Here we are again, but we have the time now.

I’m definitely yearning for something—trying to fill something. I keep recognizing I’m not in the healthiest state right now, but I think it’s okay. It’s interesting to see what I’ve resorted to, and I hope I’m not slipping. Today reached a weird disconnect from my recent energy, definitely influenced by the more intense interaction I had with a friend. Yet at the same time, here I am, still enjoying life.

Maybe I am missing a chip and reverting to a different version of myself, but no. Every time I come to an entry with concerns and worries, I’m forced to take a breath, and I’m shown how I’m still soaking in what I can.

I hate to say it like this, but I do feel my aura. It’s permeating strongly off of me, and I can see how it affects others as well. Nen moment.

I think right now I have a bit of nerves, panic, sadness, pain, hurt, and loneliness in me. It physically hurts a bit, but I think I’m okay to allow and soak all of that in. I’m definitely tired and a bit drained, but once again journaling is bringing me excitement and peace. I recognize how powerful words are to me and over my life. I enjoy so many different aspects of words.

As I write this, I’m making connections in my mind that are forming into the realization that I just love it all. Life still has me, and I’m not going to let go of it. I’ve fallen so hard—and this time it’s not in a harmful way, because life is there to catch me.

Perhaps I will allow myself to bust out a ridiculous amount of entries right now. Who knows!! I just cooked up a playlist for journaling; I’ll have to see how it goes. At least for now, it’s banging. I’m archiving my life right now to a ridiculous extent across so many different mediums. I want to do something with it all. I see how my interests and passions are defrosting and brewing together.

It’s difficult because I definitely need this for myself at this time, but I can feel how fatigued my body is.

Doesn’t matter, actually. I need this. This needs to continue. I must keep this energy and pour as much out as I can.