4:25 AM
The universe is speaking and what am I to do other than listen?
After I wrote my entry on friendship the other day, [redacted] and I completed Split Fiction and it absolutely wrecked me. The game is an utter masterpiece, on a completely different level. I could rant for days on end about how amazing it is. I fully broke out into immediate sobs multiple times. Sure, I’m PMSing, but it was a great release.
Back to my original point: the game’s overall theme is heavy on friendship, and not in a surface-level way — in an insanely deep, resonant one. I found this interesting as I just wrote about it in my other entry.
Lately, I feel as though many parts of my life are being affirmed in this way. I can tell life is pointing and guiding me towards my path, even though I’m resisting here and there. I know I should just start—and continue—pursuing it without stumbling again, but for now, I’ve chosen to give myself grace. I hope it’s a healthy grace, not just permission to let life pass me by once more.
It’s so interesting how in my entries so far–although few–have been so optimistic. It makes me wonder if I’m in a strange in-between state, or if I’ll eventually crash and burn. But I don’t think I’m lying to myself. I think I’m proclaiming this over my life. The signs are everywhere that I’m being watched over, that I’m being prepared for what’s coming next.
Life has been so beautiful in a grand yet still way–one of my favorite ways.
Even amid Michigan’s bipolar weather, the sky feels full of love for me. The wind shows up for a chilly hammock. The sunshine still turns me into bacon. Everything smells like growth—plants blooming, earth waking up.
Another reason I’m breathing deeply and trusting this season—this era— is watching how it’s shaping the people around me. Energies are shifting again. I feel filled to the brim with emotion, and I think I need to let some of it out. I’m hoping I can only grow stronger, better at getting through these times of the month. I can’t afford to be knocked flat every time.
Hopefully I’m not just going through the motions right now (fake it ’til you make it, though), because it genuinely feels like I’m loving it. There’s still so much mess—literal and figurative—to deal with, but rediscovering life for myself has been deeply rewarding.
I’ve allowed myself to slip before, but I still have goals. I still have hopes. And that shouldn’t be overlooked. For some people, that isn’t an accomplishment — but I’ll give myself credit. There was a long stretch where goals, joy, and all the fruits of life felt completely unobtainable.
Always remember that in complete darkness, a single spark lights up like the sun.
Split Fiction
Returning to Split Fiction: since finishing it, I’ve barely begun to unwrap everything it gave me, yet it hasn’t left my mind. I truly believe what I took from the game will resonate harder with me in its own time.
Whew. In all honesty, this turned into a reality-check entry. I’m feeling so strongly about this journal — I’ll probably fall off journaling really fast — but right now it feels exciting, riveting, rewarding. My thoughts about journaling (and this journal specifically) are running wild, and I can’t quite form the words to explain how perfect and fitting this feels for my life right now.
I’m writing! Hooray!
(Split Fiction authoring for real;)
